A Salute to Nonviolent Football Fans
Dennis, Nate, and Joe at ESPN Gameday show on UW campus in Seattle, 2023
Get ready America--football season is coming. As fall approaches, a tribal mentality will sweep across the land. Crazed fans of every age will dress in team colors, then begin a zombie-like pilgrimage to stadiums, casinos, and large-screen TVs. They come to watch, cheer, scream, and gamble on football. The frenzy peaks as the season starts, then quickly morphs into frustration as our favorite teams start losing games.
I am certain that football evolved directly from the days of the Roman Empire. A modern football game is remarkably similar to those bloody events held in Rome’s Coliseum in the days when the Lions took on the Christians, and the Gladiators fought each other. Basically, the only difference is that football players make more money than Gladiators did, and obviously, overweight football players on the Lions team don’t get that big by eating Christians.
Which brings us to the Nonviolent Football Fan. Everyone knows one. They are the pacifists who hate football, those peace-loving folks who, for whatever reason, will join us at a game or on our couch to watch football. They struggle to ignore the violence. They are appalled to see players ravage each other. Yet, like it or not, these Nonviolent Football Fans are just like us. They are creatures hooked by the mysterious allure of a game that, on the professional level alone, generates over $19 billion of revenue every year.
“I can’t watch,” a woman mumbles after a quarterback sack. “It’s horrible. They’re trying to kill each other.”
“They are all animals,” the man beside her whispers. “What the hell is wrong with these dudes? Why do they want to play football?”
Just then, player #13 gets smacked from behind. As #13 is hauled off the field on a stretcher, the man pulls out his phone. He frantically checks for updates on his fantasy football team…
My favorite Nonviolent Football Fan holds a special place in my heart. She is Jean, mother of Nate, the kid who became Joe’s “Little Brother” at age 7. As a single mother, Jean worked tirelessly to raise Nate to be a caring, nonviolent, non-cussing kid. She worked nonstop to get Nate to appreciate culture.
“Be gentle, Nate,” she would tell Nate each time he and Joe left for their outings.
While “Be Gentle” might have work well at home, Be Gentle didn’t have season tickets to Washington Husky football games. But Big Brother Joe did. So Nate and Joe spent autumn Saturdays in UW’s Husky Stadium, surrounded by screaming, fired-up fans.
These loud, obnoxious men and women spewed F-bombs and foul language in every direction. It was tucked among that crowd that Nate finally discovered a ‘culture’ that he really appreciated.
Joe, Nate, and I also took Jean to several Husky games over the years. She loved the color, the music, and atmosphere in the stadium. Just before kickoff, Jean would pull out a book or newspaper she brought with her. Having little use for the violent game of football, she sat there and read during the entire game.
Then one day, we were treated to a true football miracle. As an opposing player was bolting down the field with several Huskies in hot pursuit, Jean looked up from her book. She saw the guy heading toward the end zone, running for his life. Suddenly Jean threw down the book, jumped up, and screamed at the top of her lungs:
“CREAM HIM!!! CREAM HIM!!!”
Nate, Joe and I didn’t see the end of the play. We looked over at Jean. Her face was flush; her eyes were locked on the field.
“JEAN,” Joe hollered. “Hey! You better settle down over there, lady!”
“Be gentle, Jean,” Nate piped in.
That moment, that scream, the look on Jean’s face -- for us it’s forever frozen in time. Our favorite Nonviolent Football Fan had erupted, and she had shown her true colors. There in Husky Stadium, we learned that deep down, Jean had it inside her to become a true fan of the game. “CREAM HIM!”
Today, during any game we attend or watch on TV, Nate, Joe, or I will jump up during a random play and scream CREAM HIM! We do it in Jean’s honor, to celebrate that day when the game’s biggest surprise happened right beside us.
No matter if you are a Nonviolent Football Fan like Jean, or one of the rabid maniacs who pack America’s stadiums each weekend, I hope you enjoy football season. Share some fun with your tribe. Savor the excitement. Then blurt out a ferocious “CREAM HIM” in honor of Jean. Nonviolent Football Fans everywhere will appreciate your salute.
Have fun, and Go Dawgs!